Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Gym Logic

Today I made my semi-annual appearance in the weight room. Surprisingly enough this caused the math nerd in me to surface. See following:

Smell of Person on the Next Treadmill > My Desire to do Cardio

Normal Guy + Creepy Guy = Two Creepy Guys

# of Squats / # of Females in Gym = # of Guys Subtly Looking at your Butt

Avg Age of Equipment ≥ Avg Age of Each Person in Weight Room

2 Headphones = No conversations


  1. I'm going to have to call attention to your result pertaining to the # of guys subtly looking at your butt...

    What your equation suggests is that as the # of girls in the gym increases, the number of men decrease! This is shocking! I would greatly consider that more girls doing squats in the gym would result in (potentially) an exponential increase in guys staring (a linear increase in the worse case).

    So, I propose the following (with clarification to the number of squats) -- Note that I will express certain notation with words since I have no access to proper representation for math terms:

    (Summation of squats for girl i) * n = total number of guys subtly looking at your butt

    i represents the ith girl where there are n girls total. Although this is not exponential, I do believe this is a much more accurate approximation. I would now move to address my concerns regarding the capacity of the buildings in this area given our new equation.

    ps "Butt" shouldn't be capitalized...unless you are trying to suggest something. *online blogger response laugh out loud*

    : )

  2. Ok, Math Major. I accept your ammended equations. Since my math skills have reverted back to elementary school level due to non-use, I will admit that your gym logic is superior to mine.

    However, I shall capitilize Butt whenever I please. It's my prerogative as a medium-to-large behinded individual to do so. lol