Monday, March 28, 2011

Why I Loathe Flossing...

So, tomorrow I have a dentist appointment. I used to really enjoy going to the dentist as a kid. You got to pick awesomely disgusting toothpaste flavors, like watermelon or chocolate. You got a new toothbrush in whatever color you wanted. You usually got out of school early. And best of all, they gave you minty bubblegum. What's not to like about that? Well, I'll tell you...FLOSSING!

I told my sister I had to go to the dentist, and she laughed and said, "Oh, you're giving blood tomorrow." Which, if I may go on a tangent here, I also dislike giving blood because my veins seem to retract into my body and taunt the nurse, who they sent to practice drawing blood for the first time ever. After which I look like the victim of an unfortunate porcupine accident. But anyway, the dentist thing. She said this because we have all inherited ridiculously tightly-spaced teeth. Really, it's probably more like just two teeth; one tooth all the way across the top and one tooth all the way across the bottom. Mega Tooth, if you will. My mother also has this Mega Tooth condition, so she never made us floss growing up. So the older we get, the more we bleed when the dentist tries to floss Mega Tooth. Pretty soon, going to the dentist is going to be counter-productive because they're going to have to start giving us cookies to help with the blood loss.

So here are my own personal thoughts on flossing. It's meant to be done only the week before you go to the dentist. I'm sure they can tell you're only pretend flossing, but hey at least you thought about it. I mean really, why else would people do it!? It takes forever...or at least takes forever to penetrate the tiny cracks in the fortress walls of Mega Tooth. Since I can't seem to justify waking up earlier to do something I hate (flossing), I've started using those little dental flossers in the car on the way to work. This process has its pros and cons. For example, I can actually improve my dental hygiene and get to work on time, but it does put the whole Mega Tooth dilemma out in the open for everyone to see. So if you hear someone laughing about this girl they saw while driving that was trying to yank a flosser out of her teeth, but then had to give up and leave it in there so she could accomplish a left turn... don't laugh! Because it's not her fault...she has Mega Tooth Syndrome.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Club Car, Club Store

Since it was a weekend, me and my sisters had the privilege of all hanging out together. Which meant driving around, going to the store (to return an item), and eating fast food. It also meant we got to play one of our favorite games...Club Car! Along with its variation....Club Store! Here are the rules to the game.

Club Car:

  1. Choose a radio station with lots of mainstream hip hop music. (So basically any station)

  2. Crank it up and roll down the windows.

  3. Dance like you're in the club...(also drive carefully).

  4. Embarass Kiana

Club Store:

  1. Same as above but with department store music.

  2. Dance down the empty aisles like you're in the club.

  3. Embarass Kiana

My Name is Kelsie...and I'm a Shopaholic.

As you can see from the title, my name is Kelsie. If you're reading this, you probably already knew that though. I somewhat doubt anyone would specifically search for a random blog about nothing in general. Anyway, if my years of schooling has taught me anything, its that this paragraph should explain everything I'm going to ramble on about. In reality, that is not possible, because I'm not quite sure what that is yet. But I can explain why I'm writing...and just to be a rebel, I'll do it in the second paragraph (take that 10th grade English!).

I have recently graduated from college in Southern California and moved back to my bustling hometown in Washington. Let me be clear when I say bustling, I actually mean small mill town that no one has ever heard of. I fulfilled the American college student's dream when I moved back into my parents basement, where I share a bedroom with my other college-aged sister. Now just to redeem myself here, I can add that I do have a pretty good job and I live at home partially because I'd be lonely if I didn't. But anyway, back to the explanation. In moving home, I left most of my friends back in California and have found myself starting over. To add to that, I recently went through a break-up (we'll call it mutual, for the sake of keeping things peaceful). My free time has transitioned to going to the beach with friends and texting the boyfriend to babysitting my younger siblings and taking naps. So, with all this newly found spare time and disposable income, I have began spending my weekends in Ross and Macy's. And so began my decent into shopaholism.

Actually, I have several reasons for starting this blog, as you may have gathered from my short intro. It's time to branch out and share my random thoughts with the world and/or people who search for random blogs about nothing in general. Although I'd be lying if I said that avoiding the shopping binges on the weekends wasn't one of them. I may not really be a shopaholic, even though I'm pretty sure denial would be proving it.