Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Frustration is the Name of the Game

Between work, home, and rain, I find myself in an almost constant state of frustration. As much as I'd like to always blame this on PMS, the ultimate scapegoat of female crankiness, my IPhone app says I still have awhile before that really counts. And yes, there is an app for that. As much as I'd like to say exactly what's frustrating me right now, I can't, because I can't seem to quite pinpoint where this urge to snarl at people is based. But instead I'll just talk about it in general.

Frustration really is a game, of sorts. It gets passed around from one person to another like hot potato. Except it's probably more like the original version of that game, where it left everyone's hands scorched and the loser dropped his dinner in the dirt. It's a dangerous game to say the least, hot potato that is. Now, here I will define frustration by dictionary standards. Mostly because I don't like wasting energy thinking of words that I can copy and paste. So says it's: a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems. Wow, now if that doesn't just sum it up right there. Unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems. Thank you,

Now for me, I'm probably experiencing a combination of both. With reference to my very first post, I'm frustrated with my current situation. I don't worry much about my needs being fulfilled eventually, because I'm a firm believer that God provides in His own perfect time. But I get frazzled by that unresolved problems part. I'm that kid that you gave a puzzle and they had to finish it right then. No eating, no sleeping, just solving. Same with books. I had to read the whole thing as fast as possible because I just had to know the ending.

So, being back in my small hometown, living in my parents basement, I'm just dying to know what's the next step in life. One irritating thing that I often hear is, "Well, when God closes a door, He opens another." Well I have a thought about that. Sometimes I think He just leaves you in the hallway for a timeout to think about what you did. Or maybe it's more like the Matrix, where the key maker finally gets Neo into the hall where he can find the Designer. Except he's locked in there with just seconds to spare and he's got to guess which one of a hallway full of doors and if he's wrong the world will explode! Or something like that...I'd have to watch the movie again...but you get the point. What it all boils down to is I've found myself at a standstill in life...and its frustrating.

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